I’ll share a secret with you – I have a blanket.
Yes, I am a grown woman and sleep with a blankie. I hide it on my bed behind all the pretty pillows –
and sleep with it every night. Part of it gets tucked under my head (and I love when it is freshly laundered and smells like bounce sheets) and the rest covers me. When we’ve taken trips far away, I have to leave it back – it’s a full size blanket, and theres never room for it. But when we travel by car it comes along. Once I forgot it at a hotel in Chicago – we were already on the road a couple hours when I realized it was missing. I had the hotel staff jump through hoops to retrieve it for me, and mail it back to Michigan.
My blanket has really changed this last year-
it used to be so thick, now the whole center part is thin and falling apart. This blanket has been with me through everything… I’m even reminded of my smoker days –
The holey area bothers me. My arms get caught in it, and parts are so thin it doesn’t provide warmth. I’ve thought about cutting it in half, right down the worn middle. I’ve thought about stitching the holes. Instead, I don’ t do anything, I just keep on using it.
My wonderful friend sent me this poem –
Quilt of Holes
As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.
My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn’t had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to God in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.
And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, “Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.
Maybe next time, when I am lying awake at night, feeling blessed, or troubled, fearful, or sad, I will think of those holes in my blanket, and remember this poem – the Lord is here for me.
step aside of somethings and let Him shine through….